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Melbourne Male Escorts Articles And Links
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The following article is from
What It's Like to Be a Male Escort
"It's hard not to get emotionally attached to clients."
Tommy, 40, is one of about 80 men across the country who works for Cowboys4Angels, a straight male escort company. (Escorts from the agency have been featured on the showGigolos, though Tommy isn't one of them.) It's a legal venture because they don't claim to sell sex, only companionship. Garren James, the founder of the company, says that whatever happens behind closed doors between two consenting adults is never part of the original agreement.
Cowboys4Angels really started getting busy in 2009. At that time, I'd just had a daughter and I was in a relationship, and Garren came after me [to work there]. I was like, "Bro, I have a family. I can't do this." That relationship didn't work out with my daughter's mom, and about a year and a half later he asked me again.
I'd never done any modeling or anything like that. I got some professional photos taken and it just took off from there, and it took off fast. It's all I do now. I was so amazed in the beginning. I can really get paid for doing something I love?
Women hire me for different reasons. I think that they want somebody who will really pay attention to them, who's really listening. She's telling her husband about her day, and he's watching Sports Center or doing his fantasy football picks. To truly be locked in for hours on end, maybe sitting on the balcony with champagne and strawberries, and talking for five and six hours at a time in-depth — I think maybe that's part of the reason I've done so well. I'm able to really care about their lives and where they've been. For the most part, my pipeline is all repeat clients.
I tried early on to date and it didn't work out. Some women would accept that part of me in the beginning, then with the travel and being gone all the time, it just doesn't work out. It's not really fair to the woman. I'm gone more than I'm here. I just came home at 3 a.m. from a three-day gig. I worked Thursday night for four hours, Friday for four hours, Saturday until 3 a.m., and I'm leaving this weekend for Houston, then right from there to Turkey for 10 days with another woman. That's the hard part of my job, finding the balance with my personal life with my daughter and staying in shape, going to the gym, and keeping my appearance up. Those are the things I'm focused on when I'm in town and not working.
It is hard to not get emotionally attached [to clients]. There's that awkward moment when I'm leaving a hotel room after spending two or three days with a woman, and it almost feels insensitive to say good-bye and shut the door and roll my suitcase out. I'm a professional and I have it down now, but early on, I would say there were times when I was emotionally involved. I am sometimes now as well, but then for sure.
I'm sharing romantic time with women. [Ed. note: I asked him here point-blank if he has sex with these women.] I feel like I am seducing the woman's mind, body, and spirit as a whole and intriguing her mind. Any woman can walk in a bar and say, "I want to get laid," and raise her hand and she'd have a line of guys there ready to take her home. That's not what I'm here to do. But I'm going to Turkey for 10 days and I'm going to be sleeping in a woman's bed for 10 days, so there's definitely some cuddle time.
It's really not hard [to do my job] when I'm not physically attracted to someone. I have very beautiful clients and I have some that aren't. There's something beautiful about everyone. If somebody's not attractive, I'm not going to sit there and say, "Oh, you're so pretty," but I will find a feature and harp on that. I'm not a fake person. I show up and I'm very honest.
There's a lady that I share a lot of time with and we've been together a couple weekends a month over the last two years. We were going to the airport after a three-day appointment and she pulled off into a rest stop and put her head on the steering wheel and said, "This is all just a fantasy." I said, "You know, there's no woman I'm sharing more time with now than you. I care about you and your well-being and I want you to do well and I look forward to our time and I enjoy our trips." Instead of saying, "Oh my god, baby, I love you!" when I don't. She would be able to see through that.
One lady was booking me two weekends a month for two years and we saw that maybe she couldn't afford all this time she was spending with me. I asked her, "Am I in any way compromising your financial future?" And she said, "Yes." I said, "Well, that's not what I'm here to do," and we put the brakes on that. Now she sees me three times per year. We're not in the business to take advantage of women in that way.
But sometimes it's much simpler. There was one lady whose husband hired me to just to hit on her at the bar. I guess she wasn't feeling pretty after having a baby, so the husband wanted me to just build up her confidence. She had no idea that I was for hire. He sat at a distance and I asked her to dance. We ended up dancing and I guess she felt special.
There was one lady with two-thirds of her body burned. It was a two-hour appt. Me walking out of that appointment and knowing I made that lady happy and feel special for two hours made me feel good. We're in this to make people happy and I have a lot of gratitude. It's so not a sex thing. I know everybody always has the sex questions. Some of the women do just want to hire a guy and walk through the lobby of a hotel and have people look their way and feel special and attractive. It's really a great concept. At the end, we are getting paid for our services though.
My guy friends are quite jealous of my lifestyle. My circle's kind of small. I don't really walk around announcing my profession. I'm trying to keep the balance of my life and trying to be a father. I have a 6-year-old girl and her college is already paid for. Being able to do stuff like that, that's amazing. I take pride in being an amazing father. I don't need anybody to tell me I'm a great father — I know I am. But being gone a lot, sometimes I feel guilty.
I never thought I was going to last this long. It just keeps getting better and better. I'm in no rush to get out of this career. I love doing what I do.
"Sex Work" is a weekly series that profiles women (this week is an exception!) who have careers in sex-related industries — from porn stars to sex researchers and everyone in between. Check back every week for the latest interview.
By Cheryl Wischhover
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